The First Guy To Ever Hire An Assassin
I have a proposal for you. Oh im actually already engaged. I guess i could see if i could get out of it, though no im actually not interested in marrying you. You see that guy over there standing there all stupid and ugly and dumb and stupid yeah yeah yeah. Well, listen! I think if you want to marry him, youre gon na have to be a bit nicer. No, i dont want to marry anybody see the thing about that guy is that hes the worst and i hate him with a deep passion and his existence is inconvenient. For me – and i dont i dont even like him – oh my god. Well i guess you should avoid him for sure. Then yeah thats, not enough for me. I decided well, i mean thats pretty much your only option here or is it yeah no see what i was thinking was. What, if i give you some money, i dont think thats gon na help with the situation youve described, but im definitely willing to try that strategy. Well, no see actually theres more to the plan, see what, if i give you money and then you you make him go away. Oh i see what youre saying yeah yeah yeah yeah you dont want him to be around anymore. Exactly so id take your money! Id go over there and id help him get a plane ticket nope like a travel agent situation, not a traveler, no youre, not understanding the situation.
What i want is for that guy to not be an alive person anymore. Well, listen! Good news! Everybody stops being an alive person eventually yeah, but i would like that to happen for this particular person sooner rather than later. Let me ask you something: have you tried wishing i have? Did it work? No, it did hes still right over there. It didnt work. Oh yeah, he sure is look at that. So what i would like to do is to give you some money: yeah, okay and in exchange you do something terrible to that guy, so he stops being an alive person faster than maybe he would have without intervention. Oh, you want a murder to be done on him yeah, but i dont want to do the murder myself cause. Everybody knows how much i hate that guy ive been yelling about it like loud. So you want to give me some money to go. Do a murder on that guy yeah like see. This is a job that i would hire you for. Yeah yeah yeah like a job youd hire me for so how does that work for tax purposes? It doesnt its like a secret, oh fun, so youre on board. Sure i mean i do like being given money. All right. Well, go ahead on it, hi there, hello, so hey guess what what somebody doesnt want you to be alive anymore. They decided! Oh dont. Tell him oh well! I already did that so anyway, they paid me to make sure that happens to you and fast, oh so, youre gon na do a murder on me.
Yeah, im gon na do a murder on you and im gon na get some money for having done that. Okay, okay, i should say i dont think youre allowed to do murders on people. Let me just im just going to call the police in check. Okay, hes going to call the police well dont. Let him gotcha hey. Could you not call the police? Could you not do a murder on me yeah? That sounds good to me. Good news, hes not going to call them okay, great, so do the murder on him. Oh, i cant. That was part of the deal i just made with him, but you and i had a deal. Oh yeah. He has a point. I already have a deal with him. Okay, so then ill call the police thats fair, no hi, there, hello its me im the police, yeah hi there, hello theres a guy here, and he wants to do a murder on me. Oh no! No! No! No, that wont. Do we dont, like people doing murders on each other? We decided okay, yeah thats. What i thought? Okay, thanks bye. I got a big mustache and uh yeah. Pretty cool hat sounds very cool: okay, bye, so yeah i confirmed youre not allowed to do this. Oh okay! Good to know it turns out im not allowed yeah. I know but ill give you money. If you do it anyway, thats the whole premise of this job. Oh sneaky, okay.
I finally understand the assignment. Are you gon na? Do it well its 501 pm the work days over? Oh my god, hi there, hello its me im the astronaut im out here in ad space to talk to you about bright sellers. Listen, i dont know a lot about wine at all. So when my cousin kyle talks to me about wine, i feel uncomfortable hell say stuff like this is a full bodied red, and this is grape juice astronaut whyd. You bring grape juice to this wine and cheese party. It makes me feel inadequate cause. I dont know how to choose a good wine. I never learned that skill kyle, luckily bright sellers can help with that. Brightsellers is a monthly wine subscription for adults 21 and over in the u.s. It uses a seven question quiz to match you to wines. Based on your tastes, look at that just click, some pictures – bing, bang, bang! In fact, if you get a bottle, you dont love theyll, send you a replacement bottle in your next box? Okay! So now you have some delicious wines and youre sure you havent accidentally purchased grape juice boxes made for children. Now, how are you supposed to hold a conversation with kyle about them? Well, luckily, each bright sellers box comes with wine education cards for each bottle.