Major developers like activision, ubisoft and naughty dog will be queuing up to get their hands on you and if, by chance you are a sprightly young, female im sure some of them will really really want to get their hands on you all over you. So sharpen that pencil and open your notepads its time for you to learn all about personal home computer video game, entertainment programs and how to completely destroy them, nutrition, battlefield 2042 is an impressively bad game. It excels in every known metric for judging a terrible consumer entertainment product. It is objectively a bad video game. It is factually missold. It is perfectly designed to antagonize its own player base. It demonstrates shockingly poor game design. It doesnt even run properly on many of the platforms on which it is sold and all these problems are compounded by either a lack of testing, willful neglect, intentional misrepresentation or just good old fashioned dumbassery. But since i have such a legendary reputation for positivity and optimism to maintain, i am determined to see the best in the situation and turn this frown upside down. Even if that requires me to cut the head off rotate, it 180 degrees and gaffer tape. It back onto the corpse battlefield 2042 provides us with a valuable opportunity to create a legacy for future video game makers. I cant say its a unique opportunity, because this happens a couple of times a year these days, but its certainly the best recent example.

I know of it is the perfect training tool for this generation of video game students so that, hopefully, future generations of developers will have learned from this cataclysm and hopefully prevent history from repeating itself or at least prevent it from repeating itself several times a year. Battlefield 2042 is the perfect education resource for teaching students. How not to make video games so gather around class and lets begin. Our first chapter, please make sure you have turned your mobile games to silent check that youre not sitting next to any handsy community managers. Double check all the human breast milk is securely locked away, and let us begin this delightful tutorial on failure and how to do it properly. The aim here is to use the lessons learned from battlefield 2042 to teach you exactly how to make a cast iron guaranteed. Worst game of the year, i guess its up to you what you do with that knowledge, but hopefully youll try and avoid making a worse game of the year. And if you are a poor lowly developer at least youll be able to identify when your senior managers are on a trajectory directly towards it at the very least, it will help consumers avoid buying them next time around. So i guess we should start with an introduction. Battlefield 2042 was mispublished by electronic arts and underdeveloped by dice. Studios ea are famous for basically being insidious and evil. Dice is famous for making a semi decent game a long long time ago, back when dinosaurs, roamed the plains and wooly mammoth grazed on the tundra, frequently referred to as being a legendary game studio and constantly being given a hall pass because of former glorys long consigned To history, it is worth noting that dice is frequently given far too much leeway based on historic successes alone, sure they made the semi decent battlefield, 1 half a decade ago and battlefield 3 and 4 nearly a decade ago.

But in an industry where the mantra is, you are only as good as your last game. Dices major successes can be counted using decades as a time frame in the tech and entertainment industry. Decades are like counting in geological time, but lets take a look at what they have done recently in reverse chronologic calculated order, battlefield 2076, ultracore battlefield, vagina, star wars, battlefuck two thats fairly impressive pedigree; well, its impressive pedigree, if youre trying to breed mutants out of those Four games: three of them have been involved in massive player backlash and youve, probably never even heard of the fourth. If someone had bought four cars over the last four years, smashed three of them up in head on collisions with school buses and lost the other one in a ditch whilst drunk behind the wheel, i would not describe them as a good driver, let alone legendary. Dice is a recidivist car wrecker of a company these days and their video game releases currently are a virtually guaranteed shitstorm of failure. Battlefield vagina was so woke that heads rolled and there was huge consumer backlash. Battlefield 2042 was so that heads rolled and there was a huge consumer backlash and star wars. Battlefront 2 was so heads rolled and there was huge international backlash. Dices now sub mediocre development combined with eas avaricious leadership, fail in such spectacular style that laws changed more laws. Will change and they possibly triggered the clock ticking down forever on in game loot boxes for the entire video game industry, so it wasnt all bad news for us at least so, if anyone wants to say dice is a legendary studio when it comes to things up, I reckon that would stick if anyone wants to say dice was a legendary studio back when meteors were exploding over cheliabinsk, the arab spring, uprisings were kicking off and justin bieber was spitting on his fans.

Ill agree with that. I, like the olden days too, but these days these days dice, make video games and if they release a video game next year, there is a 75 probability that will be too there will be a 25 chance, it might trigger international condemnation, and there is also a 25 chance you will never even hear about it. Dice used to be a hot house of video game development. Now its a house or video game failure, dont shoot the messenger im just establishing the facts maam, so we have some context for our first module. So here are the things you need to do to make the worst game of the year. Music lie about everything. A core aspect of the human condition is trustworthiness and more specifically, how we decide to maintain the probity and rectitude of ourselves and judge those same qualities in others. Basically, nobody likes doing business with bullshitters. We are, after all, social creatures existing in a material world. We need to negotiate both our social and physical existence in order to survive the promises. People make have importance because the consequences for lying can be severe. No, i did not leave the gas on when i went out. Yes, i checked your parachute was packed correctly. Dont worry, i wont let go of the rope im just taking a break, i promise not to smoke in the fireworks storeroom. Of course, i didnt get my own sister pregnant. These examples demonstrate the importance of honesty, mainly because of the implications of the deceit, its bad enough, that someone is an incompetent loser, nightmare walking failure case, but by lying about that failure you make matters worse than, if you just told the truth – and this is why Honesty is also a core aspect of commercial exchange, although in hindsight, if you did get your own sister pregnant its probably okay, if you lie about that, if someone sells you a giant chocolate cake for 70 dollars and it turns out to be a box of dog, They have defrauded the customer.

Similarly, if dye sells, you a triple a game for 70, and that turns out to be a box of dog. They have defrauded their customers, destroying trust and painting. The sky with evidence of your untrustworthiness should be high on your to do list if you really want to destroy a franchise. So, in order to make you have the perfect launch, or should i say the perfect launch day – shitstorm of misery, failure, betrayal, anger and consumer insurgency, you need to make sure you sufficiently deceive your loyal audience, but it doesnt stop there. Any fool can have a disastrous launch, but the true masters of failure know that its not just about lying before launch. You need to make sure your customers are confident that you lied to them before you are still lying now and that you will continue to lie in the future, its not enough to just be branded as a lying triple a publisher. You need to generate a rock solid brand image as a company that will continue to about everything, always dice and ea to their credit, have committed to achieving these ends. For many years they hype up their games and churn out crap. They made star wars, battlefront 2. They made battlefield vagina, they laid the groundwork conscientiously so that by the time they released battlefield 2076 – and that was a pile of puke too. Nobody in their right minds would believe anything they ever said again. They release visually stunning.

Cinematic trailers like this then release a video game with stunningly bad gameplay like this. They claim it used game engine footage a claim that i find conspicuously odd since ive not seen anything like the trailer in any actual match. Dont misunderstand me: i have seen some fairly spectacular mid air acrobatics, but sadly this has mostly been flying. Hovercraft and bugged out ragdolling player characters taking off like superman. They also did a great job of misrepresenting the maps they deviously made. The maps appear to be huge, dense urban settings when really they were like giant football fields with a couple of buildings around the edge or like giant deserts with a beach hut, scattered here or there i mean they must have known. People would notice running for four or five minutes to get to a capture. Point is a bit of an obvious giveaway right. They also consolidated their reputation for deceit by compounding deceit on top of other deceits lets, not forget their track record for saying they have learned from their mistakes when they clearly havent and breaking promises they make to the players like in battlefield 1, where they swore blind. They would never do global nerfs on guns to make the game more noob friendly ever again then later on. Did it again anyway, its also good to promise to fix things then release patches that make things worse. That erodes trust pretty fast, like adding a patch to improve gameplay, which also, incidentally, happened to stop horizontal mouse movement working on pc not being able to use a mouse doesnt really improve gameplay very much.

But who am i to judge across the board? Dice and ea? Did everything they could to project an image of dishonesty and untrustworthiness? They did a corporate sponsorship deal with youtube. So now they are running around like good little corporate apparatchik, the monetizing high profile, critical videos and suppressing critical reviews, allegedly youtube demonetized. My rant – and this is something in 2021 – i guess – were gon na – have to deal with Applause. They said i said too many times, so i guess theres a allotment. I dont know how many i have honestly. They made sure lots of shill. Reviewers said the game was brilliant, so people bought it before realizing. It was terribly shitty and nothing telegraphs the image of a corporate factory better than when ign give the game a 7.5 out of 10. But the players give the game top 10 most hated game on steam in history. Obviously i can talk about ign as i worked there as a full time. Employee lets talk about the ign review scale, a 7 or an 8. Probably is the average aggregate score because majority of the games that are being reviewed simply are good, if you say so, my dear, but i would postulate that if 7 out of 10 is the new industry standard for average, we can now extrapolate that data. To conclude that the average industry video game product is now dreadful, you know that you are successfully winning at failing when all the mainstream reviews say this, but all of your customers say this, which, incidentally, seems to be a pretty average outcome for aaa games at the Moment at least any shred of doubt concerning habitual and compulsive lying needs to be scoured from the minds of your audience.

You need to get to the point where, if the developer or the publisher told their customers that an asteroid was about to destroy the earth and they looked up and saw a giant burning rock hurtling towards the earth, they would assume it was some kind of trick. Music utterly betray the loyal fans, a phrase that i hear a lot. These days is subvert their expectations, its usually a phrase falling out of the mouth, holes of activist writers, bad game, designers, idiots and a large group of talentless mouth breathers within the entertainment industry. That primarily got recruited because of their twitter bios, their preferred pronouns or their blue or purple hair. In the current context, its stupid speak for our audience knew what they wanted, but we decided to give them something else because reasons. Sometimes those reasons are money. Sometimes marketing driven politics, usually both but its always a terrible plan. The players had certain expectations of battlefield 2042. These were based on previous battlefield games, the advertising campaign, basic common sense, dyson, eas promises and apologies after they up previous battlefield entries. The some totality of these expectations were that battlefield 2042 would be a thematic evolution of the franchise improved in certain areas as good as advertised. Basically, it was not unreasonable that it would at least be vaguely like the promotional material and, at the very, very least, not run as badly as fallout 76. With this game, dice instead opted to push the boundaries of expectation subversion to the point where it transformed into an almost systematic obsession with replacing everything that would please the players with stuff that pisses them off players had a pretty good grasp of what they both wanted And expected, and at every single turn, dice opted for the exact opposite.

They turned gritty and realistic warfare into warlords with fortnite animations. That was something right. Music enjoy these moments. When they come yeah angel. Does it again job well done eh? They got rid of the global scoreboard and replaced it with a deceptive, manipulative, safe space squad based award system where everybody is a winner and they could micromanage the player, experience and engagement. The only reason the game doesnt come with a teddy bear and a comfort blanket is because it would eat into profits. They nerfed the legacy chat function so that you couldnt speak to the enemy team and hurt their feelings. They removed the class system which defined the game itself and replaced it with some weird ass specialist based smear of the system where there are no clearly defined jobs, so nobody does any of them. They removed the focus on team, play, contribution and tactics and replaced it with a homogenized watered down player experience. They removed war strategy and replaced it with vehicle spam and hovercrafts that can climb up buildings. They removed hard decisions and replaced it with you, can pretty much use all of the equipment in a mix and match setup, and many of these decisions were based on the current industry. Obsession with mutating every single last decent game into a manipulative psychometrically, controlled, anti competitive engagement, driven, always online, always shopping player experience primarily tailored around the goal of busting out the in game shop and selling you character skins.

That is why they can the classes. That is why they got rid of national armies. That is why you can kind of do everything with every specialist. That is why there are so many different specialists. That is why there are cringe post match animations. That is why there is no sense of battlefield in this battlefield its because they want you to have lots of specialists so that you buy skins and animations for each and every one with more specialists on the way. Basically, they rightly decided to turn an aggressive shit. Talking first person, shooter war game into a micro, managed safe space, where you cant talk to the enemy team, spot hackers on the scoreboard or have anyones fifis hurt because everyone wins top prize in battlefield 2042, because feelings, because controlling feelings equals controlling in game spending. Its also why they removed national identity, the realistic element of warfare and spent so little time, developing weapons, gun, mods maps, the class system and the combat. This is a game built from the ground up with marketing and sales, as the focus dyson ea sat down and consciously decided that the battlefield franchise was problematic because it was constructed around the core concepts of war and nation states, so they decided in their infinite wisdom To disintegrate those concepts and make it less like war and more like an arena based tv show less based around gun combat not based around nationality. Basically, they set out with deliberate intent to make battlefield less like battlefield, so they could sell more crap to more idiots.

In more territories, obviously, the one minor drawback of this plan is that the players both wanted and paid for battlefield. So when they didnt get it, they rightly felt betrayed kind of a genius move on their behalf. Really they sat down had a little think and came to the conclusion that the best thing they could do with a semi, realistic war game was to try and make it less. Like a semi, realistic war game, people got paid to have smooth brained ideas like that. What a wonderful world of opportunity we live in, but make no mistake. This was not accidental. This was not the result of mistakes. This absolutely was not some creative thinking gone off the rails do not entertain the idea for a second that they just this up sure they up loads of things, but the betrayal was deliberate. They knew they had to reformulate the franchise in order to introduce fortnight and call of duty levels of monetization, and this would come at the expense of most of the games, elements and essential features that we know and love. They did that and the master plan was to do it, betray the fans and then say: oopsie were working on it when everyone lost their dice knew what they were doing and they did it anyway because profits after the disastrous reception of star wars, battlefront 2. They appreciated that loot boxes were now officially off the table, so they cooked up this plan instead, not a great plan for the game, but an excellent plan.

When it comes to betraying your loyal fan, base Music completely rip off your customers, any bunch of cretins can get close to the podium of worst game of the year, but securing that gold medal is tough work in the current highly competitive climate of abject video game Development failure, so these guys literally had to pull out all the stops at every fundamental level of development. They ensured that the player not only was ripped off, but also did it in such obvious ways that the players would feel resentful and bitter about it too. You know like when a mugger robbed someone but then beats them up and pisses on them for no logical reason. They removed the campaign in order to save a ton of money and resources so that they could focus exclusively on refining the multiplayer game. Then they didnt yeah, let that sink in they delivered half the normal game so that the half they did deliver would be twice as good, but it actually turned out to be complete. Its a stunning business model raise the price of eggs, only put three eggs in the box. Instead of six smash, the eggs on the ground profit made genius, the price was increased. The season pass mechanic was introduced, the bane of the industry right now, the santa outfits that consumer polls indicated were widely hated. They tried to roll those out too because money, they only made a small selection of maps and theyre all basically a bit.

This is a shooting based gun, combat war game, allegedly so they slashed the budget on developing the in game, firearms and modding system. I cant stress this point enough, having seen it in so many other video games. If you really want to wind up and annoy your players, hire people who neither like nor care about firearms to work on the firearms hire hipsters blue hairs activists, ive, even seen, developers hire wizards, but dear lord dont. Let any pro second amendment or gun fanatics anywhere near the firearms cupboard because they might end up making something semi decent and we dont want that so battlefield 2042 launched with only 22 guns in the whole game. A handful of weapon, mods and some of those mods were actually duplicates copy and pasted in sharing the same stats. Then, in order to stretch out what little unlockable content there was in the game, they throttled the out of the xp games when they realised players had found ways to earn xp faster in custom matches. They throttled the out of that too, and by doing that, they broke xp gains across the board for some players. Yes, indeed, instead of paying someone to make more stuff to unlock, they paid people to make it harder to unlock the tiny bit of stuff. That was actually there. The other important factor here is financial. As a aaa developer, there is no point making a good game in order to build brand loyalty and benefit future sales on the next battlefield game.

The future. Why invest in a good product now just to get more sales in the present and the future? Who cares how much money future you makes you might be at another company by then? It makes far more sense to a triple a publisher to slash the development budget. Churn out a piece of crap and make lots of money now from a short term fiscal perspective. Why sell the customers a decent product when you can sell them practically nothing and then spend a year or two blowing smoke up their asses, telling them youre? Really sorry promising to get right on it and fix the job, whilst sitting there sniggering with all the money in the bank collecting interest right now. Logic dictates that this is the best financial approach for a triple a company. You know those cowboy builders that take a huge deposit to build an extension on your home and the second, the check clears. They stop answering your calls and never turn up to do anything. Well. If this strategy works for cowboy builders, it will work for aaa publishers. In fact, it does work for triple a publishers. All the time get paid dont do the work lie about coming around next week to fix the job, but if you really want to rip off the customers, you need to amplify the entire situation with a spectacular degree of money grabbing. Every single aspect of the game has to reek of being made by a small team on a shoestring budget, preferably an untrained team, hopefully interns and students, preferably they aint, even getting paid.

You need to convince the world that the game was made as a side project. In a back room by student game designers for the cost of their dinner money and bus fares, im talking dont even manage to get the menu user interface to look right just like battlefield 2042. Now these incompetent are going to struggle to find a bathroom and turn their computers on let alone finish, making a video game. So the next thing on the to do list is to lighten the workload. How would one do that? I hear you ask well how about and im just theorizing here how about stripping out every single legacy feature of the game possible got the game back to the timbers, if anything is not absolutely necessary for the game to run and open a pop up menu to The shop get rid of it, every single legacy. Feature of the game that can be stripped out must be stripped out, get rid of the lot. Every single feature that is stripped out is one less item for the child, labor to up its important that we dont get ahead of ourselves, though, because it is still essential that the stuff left in the game gets up too, but as a general rule, if its Not nailed down to the floor its going out the window. Dont believe me well, here is the list. Sorry here is one list. This is one non comprehensive list of features stripped out of battlefield 2042.

Just make sure that the shop is ready for launch day. You already have some micro transactions to sell and if anyone notices that most of the game is missing and the rest is broken, just sigh look at them knowingly and say well, mate, thats, because its a live service game. I would, however, note that they kind of karked it this time around and didnt have the guts to start putting things in the shop on day one. Perhaps it was impression management, but most likely they lost their nerve when the players went apeshit about how bad the game was. If dyson ea really had some balls, they would have crammed the in game shop with items even before the servers went live, oh, and did i mention the servers are lowest bidder, unstable piles of crap? Well, you probably already heard that, because its true there is, however, one last critical stage to this strategy of completely defrauding your entire customer base. What is stopping people from just getting a refund? Well, these guys theyve got that covered neutralize. Most peoples ability to get a refund by deploying a spectrum of tactics, sell it through house vendors like ea, store or steam. Will you practically have to return it within hours or unplayed or you void? Your refund attach stipulations to any digital purchase. To the same ends. Force the customer to sign an end user licence agreement, voiding their rights to a refund and voiding their rights.

To take you to court, make it so difficult for people to get a refund that they would need to retain an attorney, engage in legal arbitration and risk facing tens of thousands in costs just to try and get their 70 dollars back. Its brilliant really sell everyone. A pile of make them sign a form before they run the game. By doing so, they are now legally compromised, its all completely unenforceable, contractually an anti consumer, but who the actual is gon na pay a lawyer, twenty thousand pounds just to try and get a refund on a video game. Think about that. Next time you see a triple a developer posting on twitter about how much they care about the players Music, pamper to the chinese market. We are in the middle of a pandemic because china were having to redeploy battleships because china, we are experiencing a global economic collapse, because china were routinely locked in our homes, because china pretty much the whole world, is in a state of right now, because china, china, Is the worlds biggest shithill who broke the planet engaged in a six month cover up destroyed evidence that could have given us a six month head start. Has a network of giant slave labor concentration camps? Is the most anti video game country on the planet. So why not make sure there is no single thing in the game that offends these modern day nazis, even if that means censoring things for the rest of us dice, even renamed the shitty santa claw skin to father winter, because any reference to a christian festival risks Getting the game banned in china because in china they put muslims in concentration, camps, demolish christian churches and persecute the christians and sterilize ethnic minorities to basically kill them all off.

So yeah panda to those guys ban christmas from your game, yet expect your players to pony up the cash regardless. If you think im exaggerating, then why do you think the soldiers are named nopats? It sounds like a brand of sanitary towel. The point behind making the specialists non patrioted a go, not being aligned with nation states, is all about foreign market share and hard learned experiences in previous battlefield titles with battlefield 4 ea and dice tried to suck off china by making the plot china centric and having Chinas peoples, liberation army as a playable faction. What happened? China banned the game anyway because they didnt like the way it was being sucked off so whats. The best solution get rid of nations all together, name them after sanitals. So now the soldiers arent even really soldiers. Technically they arent even mercenaries theyre refugee activists. Think about that in battlefield 2042, you are essentially a paramilitary refugee activist, fighting against or defending superpower, acts of ignorance or stupidity. Obviously, not the chinese though they dont do anything wrong. They dont want to have the game banned in the peoples republic of slave camps and for sterilization. Ea and dice want us to play a game where we fight and die. For knows why were fighting everybody is kind of on the same side. Sort of we are not defending our homes, we are just kind of fighting a bunch of other generic people, identical to us on a big football pitch or a desert with no overarching war.

Narrative because reasons its something about the environment and america and russia are both the bad guys and we take turns on both sides story wise. This makes less sense than a monkey trying to a bicycle. This is some grade, a woke communist, its yet another projection of this pc infiltrating our video games were expected to fight, but were not allowed to fight under a flag, because that would, by inference, represent nationalism, and that is a naughty doodoo word. According to the soy wimps and the marketing department, who are we supposed to be fighting here? The patriarchy? If your game doesnt even have a plot, no campaign, because you neither had anything to say nor the budget to say it, getting rid of national interests in a war game just creates a giant void where a purpose should reside and sticking our tornado into that void. And complaining about the environment, just aint a sufficient substitute for a story. What are they going to do? Next make a game about the crusades where a group of christians and muslims band together to overthrow their patriarchal leaders, a game about the battle of britain, where the pilots are all on the same side, trying to defeat the toxic white male leadership of hitler. Churchill and franklin d, roosevelt: how about a fifa game where they get rid of teams and goals, and everyone just kicks the ball around taking turns in an equitable fashion and at the end, everyone gets declared man of the match unless theyre assist white male, they have To kneel and apologize for generations of oppression, because all of these ideas are equally as stupid as an international war game where everyone gets to fight on all the different sides and nobody is allowed to fight to defend their country, because that would be to white supremacists.

Potentially piss off china or some equally ludicrous marketing concern dice, did a beautiful job of creating a game where they disintegrated. The entire value constructs surrounding why people go to war and fight for their homelands, their countries or their families, but did not replace it with anything, because anything, plausible or realistic to do with war would have had to include china ea and dice even managed to make World war 3 woke just because they knew that getting rid of all nations was the only way to absolutely guarantee they wouldnt get yet another battlefield game banned in china, so good work on pampering to the chinese market, although frankly i thought they nailed it perfectly in Battlefield 4., when we were fighting the chinese and the paracel islands hell when it actually happens in real life, theyll. Finally, win cool points from me for being prophetic yeah angel. Does it again, Music go woke, going woke, is always a great way to alienate your customers. If a game developer wants to be woke, im fine with that, but dont go woke. Let me explain the not so subtle difference if youre, making a video game about a pansexual non binary, hipster barista, who has to run around portland playing bongos selling, weed and smashing up small businesses during protests until hes earned enough points to set up a vegan cooperative. Cafe, where the local police are all banned for me in there and nobody gets charged for their drinks, because capitalism is evil, then wokeness will be right at home.

In the game knock yourselves out, nobody will complain, there will be no uproar, gamers wont revolt or be angry with you mainly because they wont play that game. Well, they might play ironically or on live streams, but you get my point, but if you are making a sequel to an existing game with an existing customer base and the game is a gritty competitive action. War shooter well dont, go woke on your target audience because they dont, like that. You see marketing departments operate under the assumption that, because wokeness has become more fashionable now, things will necessarily become more woke in the future. Therefore, they assume that the next generation of consumers will be even more woke ad infinitum. They plotted a trajectory of gaming subculture based on highly sophisticated science like this, the past, the present the future. So there is some logic behind their behavior, even if it is really really stupid. The marketing department thinks they are pissing off their audience now, but they are grooming, the future woke gamers of tomorrow. Sadly, however, they fail to appreciate that people like this dont play games like this and they can feminize the characters all they like. They can have 76 different genders in the character creation screen and turn it into a woke gasm, but they are appealing to a demographic that does not like to stay up until four am blowing peoples heads off with machine guns. They also dont realize that there is a huge growing backlash against wokeness and its highly likely that the next generation of gamers will swing back right.

The other way and become so incredibly socially conservative that they will play video games in salons and wear business suits while they do so seriously. The backlash to wokeness is gon na, be huge im talking, deprogramming care facilities set up to reintegrate sjws back into being useful members of society. You know like what they do with former cult members, sadly or fortunately, dice didnt do such a great job with going woke on battlefield 2042, although in their defense they stripped out so much of the content. There wasnt much left to transform into a woke statement. They havent got rainbow colored gun skins, unicorn mounts on kneeling, mvp animations yet, but give them time they did get rid of nation states and removed the global scoreboard in order to eradicate performance based uh performance. I guess that removes the competitiveness half of all the combatants are female, which, whilst being historically ridiculous, is, in my opinion, entirely defensible in its own strange way. I mean looking at the state of a lot of the men of fighting age these days frankly, recruiting more women into the armed forces would probably raise the average levels of testosterone in the barracks. But i digress in its some totality. Battlefield. 2042 is considerably less woke than many shooters right now, however, removing the global scoreboard is such a significant attempt to remove competitiveness that this on its own is fairly chilling. Think about it. This is a video game where you score points by doing stuff, but they decided to hide the players scores from the players.

This is a very dark road to go down. Music completely fail to understand your own game. Another important aspect of guaranteeing your game gets an appalling reception is to make sure nobody on the development team has even half a inkling what their own fans like about the game im, giving them the benefit of the doubt here by assuming they didnt remove all the Stuff we like deliberately im gon na, be kind and assume theyre, just a bunch of idiots, unqualified or inexperienced developers. Perhaps they dont play video games at all. I neither know nor care. The important thing is that they behave as if they dont understand their own game. Winning this is a squad based game where players group up and play better break that and make it nine impossible to squad up with more than four players and spawn everyone at the same location. Everyone likes the classes so get rid of the class system and replace it with one where its easier to sell character. Skins people wanted battlefield, not a hero. Shooter, they wanted teamwork, class based play and exciting combat. They didnt want a 128 man call of duty with everyone running the same setup. They didnt want cringe again fortnite characters making quips about how war is a giant laugh. They didnt want an in game store. They didnt want season passes. They didnt want the disintegration of armies and that replaced with teams composed of the same overwatch style characters.

This is more like something out of a dystopian sci fi movie, where people fight on tv in arenas in order to win prizes. They took war and turned it into some kind of arena based combat show like a dystopian military themed version of the running man. Take away levolution where buildings collapse in spectacular style or the behemoths that crash and change the layout of the map take away all that good stuff and replace it with a vaguely annoying tornado that just meanders around the map making my already shitty input lag and strobe. Like frame rate tank, the annoying tornado is the video game equivalent of a traffic warden its like when youve suddenly realized they made that place, you parked into a no parking zone, and now you constantly have to keep an eye out for the parking attendant. No fun is added to your trip by having to keep your eye out for a roving parking attendant, just like no fun was added to battlefield 2042 by taking away all the fun stuff and adding a tornado. In fact, the vehicle calling system in battlefield 2042 portrays a fundamental ideological flaw in their thinking. This is a classic franchise that deals with warfare that vehicle calling system is more like amazon, same day delivery. They are catering to the adderall low effort, convenience generation who dont want to invest in a game. They want their stuff instantly, with a click of a button delivered to their doorstep and if it ruins the game, who gives a as long as the players get their instant convenient gratification.

Who cares if the game says more about consumerism than warfare? Similarly, battlefield used to be a game where you had to learn things spotting used to be a critical mechanic playing the objectives used to be a critical tactic. Squad composition used to be a critical strategy lets face. It play the objective used to be a mantra. People had to learn what their job was and try, and do it not now now its basically human wave attacks of impatient vehicle, spamming infants, bum rushing objectives or just camping on top of skyscrapers in tanks. For some reason, this game reminds me of a chimps tea party in a tank factory, its also shocking that the sandbox mode portal, where you can design your own battles using legacy battlefield assets, just serves as a monumental reminder of how everything that used to be in The old battlefield games is better than 2042.. This used to be a game where, having an engineer in your tank used to be critical, because someone with half an ounce of skill and a healthy dose of common sense could use their repair tool to keep the tank in the fight indefinitely. It was a game where anyone could do well as long as they picked a job and did it you didnt have to be super skilled. You just had to do a job. The high skill cap guys could storm the flag points, but as long as you were supplying ammo spotting, repairing vehicles or reviving, you could still help turn a match and go home with a decent score.

Well, in 2042, your tank repairs itself because well learning how to play the game seems like too much effort. Am i right Music launch a non functional, comprehensively, broken incomplete game. A central principle of making a truly terrible game is being systematic, thorough and conscientious about making sure every single aspect of the game is bad, every mechanic must be broken, every design feature must be booked all the content must be incomplete or unfinished, and every single creative Choice should be made by people with no taste no appreciation of culture and no soul or even better people that work in the monetization department. Think of this as a kind of reverse quality control. Just having the odd broken thing here – and there is simply not good enough to generate widespread condemnation, calls for changes in consumer law and generating the sort of social media. Shitstorm that were aiming at the developers need to systematically go through every feature of the game and either double check that it isnt finished, break it or in many cases, just remove that feature altogether. Dice did fine work here. Ive seen multiple reviewers whove had to compile lists of the profound and irrefutable problems, bugs mistakes, failings and incomplete content in the game, when their main focus is tweeting out about a goddamn specialist being non binary. Instead of addressing the fact that the game is a hot mess with so many issues dude i cant even rattle off the top of my head, i should have wrote them down.

I did write some of them down lets see if i still got it. Oh, my god, give me a second here when you spend your life looking at cancer, its hard to keep up enemy, spawn camping spotting is garbage damage. Some animations dont finish. So if you try to revive a teammate, it just wont work and you end up taking their gun, because everybody can revive everyone, theres, no glasses. Those are the ones i wrote down at edgar and i was just like, but then again they got my money. Theyve literally had to organize and collate all of this balkness in google docs or in spreadsheets. Nothing says: failure better than spreadsheet levels of brokenness. I mean vanguard, tried to achieve this, but didnt excel to this degree. Battlefuck 2076 literally stress tested, reviewers abilities to catalog bugs and their organizational and database skills. This game runs like a sumo wrestler with diarrhoea and a broken ankle. It barely functions on old consoles and many mid range. Pcs hit registration is bought. Weapon bloom was so you could mag dump someone three meters in front of you and miss interact, frequently doesnt work properly. The descriptions from vehicle damage now says part broken. They removed collision models for nearly all of the buildings. You cant revive players. If any part of their body is touching a wall, you have to place spawn points roulette and get randomly inserted practically anywhere. Apart from the actual spawn point, you selected, they optimized it for next gen console architecture, so it will only run well.

Ish on pcs, with motherboard mounted m.2 high end ssds, so forget making this work well on anything other than state of the art kits or next gen consoles for most people. This game will run like windows 10 on an 11 year old laptop for me personally, playing this game on a mid range pc was like trying to in a paddling pool filled with carpet glue. I cant list all the problems with this game and if you think this video is long well, if i just sat here reading off the items from other peoples lists of issues with the game followed by the known bugs list, it would sound like a two hour. Long weather report, toms hardware bench tested battlefield 2042. They described the results as and i quote frankly horrible and remember they are bench testing on fresh installs on mint kit. Dont expect the same performance from your pc which, if its anything like mine, will be creaking from the crushing weight of years of pornographic downloads, spyware and smoking hard drives and lets not forget what is possibly one of the most dumbest concepts. That clearly indicates a lack of testing combined with a lack of vision. Players can now call air dropped vehicles in to land at their location, including tanks, including armored vehicles, on top of skyscrapers. So, on some maps you have to take an elevator to the roof and storm it to cap. The point: only the enemy is camped up there with anti aircraft artillery and tanks pointing at the elevator door.

So the situation can best be described as a very short fight, although in fairness, you can drive the hovercraft up the side of the building, so you could still camp in vehicles on skyscrapers, even if they removed or localized airdrops, and this brings me to another brilliant Move making huge empty maps with barely any buildings, because buildings take time to develop large areas of grass dont and then having vehicle spam. Absolute credit where credit is due. Dice executed this with finesse by perfectly balancing the vehicle spam with the size of the wide open spaces, its precisely balanced, so that you spend most of your time running hundreds of yards across empty terrain. Yet there is enough vehicle spam that you can rely on being gunned down by a chopper, hovercraft or tank just before you get to your destination, its brilliant. They got this perfectly wrong. The irony of all of this is that they entirely removed mortars from the game because it made campers cry. This decision makes me especially furious because i am a camper and rule 43 of the camping code is that mortars are superb for dislodging other campers in battlefield and if that makes inferior, campers cry, then they should pay more attention to rule 44 of the camping code. Learn how to counter battery with your mortar? If people are mortaring, you look the entire rooftop tank camping scenario would be solved in an instant if they just brought back the support class, where you could have a mortar and an ammo box, but no mortars are gone forever, because snipers demanded the right not to Have to crawl 10 foot off to the left, so they didnt die completely up.

The keyboard was another bonus. Im talking, some key bindings are universal. Some are not some rebinds map onto your equipment and some dont. They make sure that some of the on screen tips tell you the rebound key to hit, but some always show you the default. I had to fly my drone using my movement keys apart from the descend key. That key is off to the side, because it was the only way i could find it without something else up thats the way to do it – and this is a critically important point. Battlefield is a game where players run around shooting at each other. So do your absolute best to break the part of the game where the bullets hit things. This was golden. They made a shooting game where shooting doesnt work properly. Thats! Truly bold, just remember, kids! If you really want a game to fail, catastrophically, focus down on the core aspects of the gameplay that critically define the experience and break that in the case of battlefield 2042. Its a first person shooter game, where you run around a server shooting at other players and doing stuff so break the servers, break the shooting and break the stuff. Now you have a server full of players who just pissed off and infuriated plus they get to enjoy. Seeing their characters rubber, banding all over the place, well thats, if they havent already been disconnected or had the game crash. Obviously, Music destroy a beloved famous and iconic soundtrack Applause.

Music. Most video games, like most movies, have entirely forgettable soundtracks. Sometimes the music is bad. Sometimes the soundtrack is excellent, but just not very memorable ive played thousands of hours of the division, but i cant remember the soundtrack. I could recognize it, but thats not the same thing. Some games end up nailing it with defining theme, tunes that are instantly recognizable fallout. Skyrim halo tetris, i dont think im exaggerating when i say that the battlefield theme is one of the best known video game themes. Ever i own two different battlefield, soundtracks. There are meme videos about the theme tune. It is that well known when you have a much loved franchise. People have emotional attachments to it. When people love music, they form strong emotional attachments and memories linked to that music. When a game is associated with said music, those emotional connections become stronger and interlinked. Forming. Incredibly, intense emotional associations drawing together their experiences, emotions and memories of the time the human brain is predisposed to combine music memories and emotions into a nexus that endures for years decades and sometimes a lifetime. This is why the battlefield theme is so significant, so you better that right up seriously, if someone set out with the intention of aggravating and antagonising an audience on a deep emotional level, what better way to induce psychic resentment than to ruin their franchise and ruin the Music associated with it too, i dont want to judge the battlefield 2042 soundtrack too harshly, because i dont need to being generous and charitable.

I can reasonably describe it as sounding like a whale being by a giant, angry robot, its appalling, and i dont know why anyone would think this was a good idea. It sounds like a first year, music college, experimental art project, its a sort of music. You could play to your parents, which would automatically induce a slightly pained wince on their faces. Its like someone tried to explain an early unstutzenda noibatan track over the phone then sent the person a broken trumpet a bag of empty cans and a goat to strangle and just told them to improvise. The soundtrack was shot into existence by sam slater and hilda gonadota. Under the negligent supervision of andreas armstrom, unbelievably, these guys are not a bunch of talentless incompetent, not that you could tell from this work of cacophonous folly. I have no idea what they were thinking or if they were thinking at all. Sam slater and helga gonadota are married, so there are all the ingredients of group think right there. Perhaps they are both mates with the music director too, and they all spent the weekend taking magic mushrooms, giving each other henna tattoos, whilst sitting in some sauna. In the swedish countryside and came to the stunning hallucinogenic conclusion that making the music as awful as humanly possible would make some kind of art house statement about the human condition, although its probably more likely they just recorded it. Whilst they were hallucinating christ. I really hope for their sakes.

They werent sober when they made this. If i had to rate the battlefield soundtracks in order of preference, battlefield ball would come top and this one would come last. The shitty flute version is better than this iteration Music. In fact, i could probably play the battlefield 2042 soundtrack, better myself on a kazoo. Now the reason ive pulled my punches and been so kind and charitable about the soundtrack is as a show of respect to the musicians involved. I dont think anyone that has heard the battlefield, 2042 soundtrack will believe what im about to say, but take it on faith that it is true, despite your primal, urge to call me a liar, but believe it or not. These musicians are of great pedigree. Andreas armstrong has worked on every battlefield soundtrack since battlefield 3., sam slater and hilda guanawatta worked on such fine fare as sicario the joker and new world. All of these guys are pros with credible work under their belts, which all begs the very important question. What the actual happened this time, because this soundtrack this is an abomination, it frankly comes across like a piss take, did they make it for a bet and just to hammer home? How truly dreadful this music is. Here are a few clips: Music Applause, Music, Music, so Music Applause, Music, Music. Now, however bad you think this music might be its actually far worse than you realize. How do i know this? Because i played three of those clips backwards and i doubt you even noticed the soundtrack is utter and borderline sacrilegious, its like someone got a wraith from stargate atlantis to drain everything vital out of the music and leave behind a hollow joyless close to death.

Husk of what was there before, but on a positive note, if you need a copy to complete your battlefield, soundtrack collection, it will no doubt be on sale very soon. Just like the game already is yeah. This game is doomed, Music, dont, learn from your own or others mistakes. They say that the definition of insanity is doing the same thing over and over and expecting a different result. I would personally say that the definition of insanity would also include things like having a fundamental break from reality, engaging in thought processes that are inherently self, harming drooling down your chin, because closing your mouth seems like too much effort having all your meals mashed up in A bowl and fed you by a nurse with a plastic spoon getting to the point where food doesnt seem normal unless it is mashed up. I mash up all my food and releasing battlefield 2042 in this god. Awful state. Well, dice and ea are guilty of all these charges, its incredible when you think about it. These guys wrote the book on how to up a franchise sequel when they made star wars. Battlefront 2 then released a hardbound second edition, with seven extra chapters covering battlefield vagina. They are the jedi masters of ruining franchises. You would think that if any developer publisher duo had an emergency manual on how not to screw the pooch, it would be the olympic pooch screwing world champions, but no, they actually doubled down on their previous failures.

They made all the same mistakes again and even brought several more wheelbarrows of failure along to the party and, if theyre too stupid, to learn from their own extensive database of mistakes. What about learning from other gaming disasters? Did they not learn anything from cyberpunk 2077 fallout 76 warcraft 3 reforged, the last of us two ghost recon break points or everything ubisoft malmos ever touched, including the avatar game? Oh sorry, that game hasnt been released yet dont release a game that doesnt run dont make epic cinematic trailers that have zero in common with real gameplay dont sacrifice a game structure for the sake of monetization dont lie to your customers habitually and thoroughly and significantly dont. Pretend you didnt know all along that it would turn out to be a disaster after all. That is why cd projekt red is on the receiving end of multiple class action lawsuits, all of which theyre in the process of losing and why ea will probably be the target of a lawsuit, too imagine being a post launch analyst at ea interviewing people from dice About what went wrong this time must feel like interviewing that geezer from memento for the fifth or sixth time battlefield 2042 is literally an amazing game, but not for any intentional reasons. It is literally a training tool for aspiring video game makers, its a guide on how to fail both comprehensively and with precision. They made a sequel that is not really a battlefield game, so its not really a sequel sure its got guns.

Well, its got a couple of guns and you run around on a map, but compared to every important metric, its not a progressive step in the franchise. This is ea trying to morph it into a call of duty, fortnite, star wars, battlefront 2 highly monetized season passed. Always online vending machine, they have looked jealously at other free to play, games and call of duty season pass and thought we can make a lot more money if we focus on skins, characters models, emotes outfits, diversity, idiocracy and greed thats. Why there is so little effort. Put into the gun, play and maps and so much effort put into character, animations quips and making it a safe space, its not an act of charity that vince sampela was moved from ea subsidiary, respawn entertainment to work on this game. He is not here to save the game. He is here to save the shop. He is a guy who has become a world expert on free to play battle, royale, hero, shooter games and specializes in monetization and profitability. What you think he got put in charge of battlefield to help us? Oh no and lets not forget that the former dice head of design for battlefield 2042 farsi mesmer, launched the game and immediately off down the road to work for ubisoft two, and i quote, shape the creative vision of its games and ensure the inclusion of diverse perspectives. Let that sink in the head, designer on battlefield 2042, turned out to be quite literally a specialist in wokeology he up 2042 and immediately scarfed off to a rival company.

Frankly, this all looks a bit like a dirty protest. To me, a game designers job is not to come up with ideas, but to make other peoples ideas work.